A Prayer Answered ~ Olena

A Long Birth Canal ~ Glenn

This has been a long birth canal.
A shrunken space of darkness in every direction
Not knowing if it will give way to the light
Every push squeezes my consciousness
Like that suitcase you’ve packed too tight
My senses rule me like prison guards
What is at the end of this long dark canal?
An executioner or daylight?

Live On and Tell No One ~ Sarah

It happened to me for the first time in my second year of university, completely out of the blue. A feeling of panic, fear and anxiety descended on me like a fog, a fog that seemed to steal everything good from my life. Every positive emotion was gone. Nothing that once made me happy, did anymore. All I could feel was this overpowering sense of anxiety. I was desperate to rid myself of this fog, but I was also desperate to make sure nobody else knew what was happening inside of me for fear that they would no longer see me as “strong” and “stable,” the things I prided myself on. So I kept it almost entirely to myself and made a decision that I would not let this feeling change anything about the way I was living. That would be the way I would cope; live on and tell no one.

Coming Through ~ Julie

Words In The Air ~ Rob

Dedicated to the one who spoke and didn't return.

Click here to listen.

I Fear the Darkness Runs Too Deep ~ Ruthi

Click here to listen.

VanGogh

Vincent Van Gogh's "Starry Night"

The Unexpected Math Behind Van Gogh's "Starry Night" - TEDEd

tur·bu·lence
noun
a :  great commotion or agitation
b :  irregular atmospheric motion especially when characterized by up-and-down currents
c :  departure in a fluid from a smooth flow 

in·spi·ra·tion
noun
1 the action or power of moving the intellect or emotions
2 the act of drawing in; specifically :  the drawing of air into the lungs


[As read by Shelley-Ann]

Art, science and faith have long reflected the human condition of dark periods, struggle and turmoil, as well as our desire for expression, understanding, beauty and inspiration.

Don McLean’s song Vincent is an inspired tribute to VanGogh’s piece “The Starry Night.” McLean in turn becomes a muse for the song Killing Me Softly, lyrically depicting the experience of Lori Leiberman hearing McLean in concert. Both songs reflect the powerful experience of recognizing our own suffering in the words, or art, of another.

McLean sings “With eyes that know the darkness in my soul”
Leiberman echoes “He sang as if he knew me, In all my dark despair”

This same darkness and despair have birthed much of the stories and art shared with us today, here at Glimpses. May we find comfort in recognizing ourselves in another. May we find inspiration in the stimulation of our senses. May we find hope in the beauty that surrounds us.

[sadly, our musical components cannot be adequately recorded, so you will have to imagine the lovely mash-up Shelley-Ann and Kevin did of Don McLean's "Vincent" and the Fugees remake of "Killing Me Softly."

We Are Not Hallmark Cards ~ Glenn

Not being posted at the request of the contributor.

Abide In Me

[sadly, our musical components cannot be adequately recorded, so you will have to imagine the lovely rendition of "Abide in Me" performed by John and Sarah Benjamins]

Abide with me; fast falls the eventide;
The darkness deepens; Lord with me abide.
When other helpers fail and comforts flee,
Help of the helpless, O abide with me.

Swift to its close ebbs out life's little day;
Earth's joys grow dim; its glories pass away;
Change and decay in all around I see;
O Thou who changest not, abide with me.

Hold Thou Thy light, before my closing eyes;
Shine through the gloom and point me to the skies.
Heaven's morning breaks, and earth's vain shadows flee;
In life, in death, O Lord, abide with me.

Maybe, Maybe Not ~ Chris

Click here to listen.

The Cards We Are Dealt ~ Julie

Click here to listen.
































Excerpts from our collection of cards answering 'Why it's hard for me to talk about mental health' were read as part of this talk. Below are the words that came from the cards submitted. Each line return indicates a different card.

...We don’t understand it
We don’t know what defines mental health.
What is the line between mental health issues and normal mental health
We lack information
direct experience
We can’t relate
to the struggles
We don’t know how to help
What to say, when to say it, what to do

We haven’t had an issue with our mental health… until now.

People don’t know how to respond
they don’t understand what it feels like

There’s a stigma
a stigma of weakness
of weakness
of weakness of being damaged goods
of being different
a HUGE stigma that can stick with you forever - being lumped in a box that is very difficult to get out of

Talking about it makes it real. What if speaking it out loud gives it power?
Once it’s real, it’s hard to ignore, unless you confront it. Confronting it can be the longest, hardest, most humbling thing we’ll ever do.
And healthy boundaries are impossible to keep after opening the door.

We don’t want to offend anyone
we want to find the rights words to be sensitive and inclusive
and therefore only touch the surface

And sometimes what we have to say is hard to hear, even harder to swallow.

Mental health issues are seen as an excuse for not taking responsibility - for taking time off.
That our choices and our thoughts are our own and don’t fit in.
That there is little hope for a significant amount of recovery.
That we wish they would just die.

We have friends we’ve tried to talk out of suicide.
We have family members who have taken their life.
We wonder what we could have done differently.

Our self-value and identity are tied to our productivity, to think we have lost this destroys our reason for living.

We are frustrated with our loved ones and ashamed of ourselves.
Sometimes it feels that everything we try to do to help - does nothing.
There’s no easy fix.
But an expectation of corrective action.

Few people want to hear our stories, even fewer want to journey with us.
Few people have the emotional space to listen and try to understand.
No one has taken the time to ask the questions that touch our lives in this way.

Finding a safe place to talk about our own darkness is probably the most challenging.
When we open up the dark corners, we’re asking someone to walk with us into an irrationally negative, seemingly inescapable place and to dwell with us there for a moment. This often seems like too much to ask.
This type of listening requires vulnerability from all those involved. Many aren’t willing to appear this naked in front of others.

Ignorance,
assumptions and judgement do not create safe places to share stories.

We feel vulnerable.
Sensitive.
Embarrassed.
Lonely.
Shame.

We feel we don’t have a reason to be sad, mildly depressed at times.
That we should know better than to give if into unrealistic ways of thinking.
We don’t want to constantly drag others down.

We are afraid of what could happen.
that love won’t win this time.
that the darkness runs too deep.
That it might be true

Talking about mental health
is very personal and hard to put into words.
It takes courage and strength.

It has been so hurtful.

Mental health is often paid lip service, but when push comes to shove, it’s like physical health’s forgotten and worthless little brother...