The Cards We Are Dealt ~ Julie

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Excerpts from our collection of cards answering 'Why it's hard for me to talk about mental health' were read as part of this talk. Below are the words that came from the cards submitted. Each line return indicates a different card.

...We don’t understand it
We don’t know what defines mental health.
What is the line between mental health issues and normal mental health
We lack information
direct experience
We can’t relate
to the struggles
We don’t know how to help
What to say, when to say it, what to do

We haven’t had an issue with our mental health… until now.

People don’t know how to respond
they don’t understand what it feels like

There’s a stigma
a stigma of weakness
of weakness
of weakness of being damaged goods
of being different
a HUGE stigma that can stick with you forever - being lumped in a box that is very difficult to get out of

Talking about it makes it real. What if speaking it out loud gives it power?
Once it’s real, it’s hard to ignore, unless you confront it. Confronting it can be the longest, hardest, most humbling thing we’ll ever do.
And healthy boundaries are impossible to keep after opening the door.

We don’t want to offend anyone
we want to find the rights words to be sensitive and inclusive
and therefore only touch the surface

And sometimes what we have to say is hard to hear, even harder to swallow.

Mental health issues are seen as an excuse for not taking responsibility - for taking time off.
That our choices and our thoughts are our own and don’t fit in.
That there is little hope for a significant amount of recovery.
That we wish they would just die.

We have friends we’ve tried to talk out of suicide.
We have family members who have taken their life.
We wonder what we could have done differently.

Our self-value and identity are tied to our productivity, to think we have lost this destroys our reason for living.

We are frustrated with our loved ones and ashamed of ourselves.
Sometimes it feels that everything we try to do to help - does nothing.
There’s no easy fix.
But an expectation of corrective action.

Few people want to hear our stories, even fewer want to journey with us.
Few people have the emotional space to listen and try to understand.
No one has taken the time to ask the questions that touch our lives in this way.

Finding a safe place to talk about our own darkness is probably the most challenging.
When we open up the dark corners, we’re asking someone to walk with us into an irrationally negative, seemingly inescapable place and to dwell with us there for a moment. This often seems like too much to ask.
This type of listening requires vulnerability from all those involved. Many aren’t willing to appear this naked in front of others.

Ignorance,
assumptions and judgement do not create safe places to share stories.

We feel vulnerable.
Sensitive.
Embarrassed.
Lonely.
Shame.

We feel we don’t have a reason to be sad, mildly depressed at times.
That we should know better than to give if into unrealistic ways of thinking.
We don’t want to constantly drag others down.

We are afraid of what could happen.
that love won’t win this time.
that the darkness runs too deep.
That it might be true

Talking about mental health
is very personal and hard to put into words.
It takes courage and strength.

It has been so hurtful.

Mental health is often paid lip service, but when push comes to shove, it’s like physical health’s forgotten and worthless little brother...